Expectations VS Reality
Our blog is finally up and revived after months of radio silence! (Sorry bout' that) We've gone up to our necks with wedding planning and stylings, and a recent revamp on the site.
Anyhooo, I've wanted to do a post about this (expectations vs reality) for a while now, but we've had some reservations about thrashing the hopes of our young couples and all... but...
hell, I'm gonna do it.
After all, we do strive to minimize censorship in our wedding blog.
Before you read further, our dear readers, know that there are some hard truths about our dream weddings (and society) that many of us aren't too willing to accept.
You may wish to take a moment to think about whether you are easily offended or not and leave this page if you are.
The single most important point in this entire article. Also the most frustrating for most of us commoners.
Okay fuck this. I'm gonna say it.
Waddaya want for your dream wedding? A long-ass stretched limo? A perfect fairytale castle backdrop? Lady Gaga to perform live? Full transformation of the venue?
Y'know what? Absolutely!
ANYTHING and EVERYTHING (that is within our physical plane of existence and within the confines of our local laws) can be done!
But let's be realistic here for a second. Many of the images we see on Pinterest aren't exactly realistic. I mean, yes, it CAN definitely be done. But... at what cost?
Simply said, if your budget doesn't allow it, maaaaybe consider not going for that huge ass floral arch backdrop you saw one time.
There are plenty of other areas to invest that hard earned dough in, such as a more experienced photographer, a nicer wedding dress, (psst. a wedding planner) maybe even a better 8-course meal.
That being said, I confess I am exactly that type of person who'll let my budget go if I really want something. After all, you (hopefully) only get married once.
We wedding planners get married nearly every week. Believe us if we advise your budget ain't gonna cut it.
And on that topic...
2) Wedding Planning
Now we get that many people think they can plan their own wedding. I mean, sure, why not? We totally get it. After all, it is just a matter of knowing what you want, what you need, and how to go about getting it done.
You've got your venue, photographers, videographers, bridal gowns, suits, flowers, programme for the day, traditions to upkeep, groomsmen, bridesmaids, contracts, that bloke who declares y'all husband and wife... the list goes on. Like, I haven't even begun listing out everything in detail.
Sure, you can dump all these on your groomsmen and bridesmaids, siblings, friends and all, or you could even be doing everything yourself.
...who's gonna be coordinating all these?
The Reality You're going through with the motions, the day whizzes by you and in what feels like an hour becomes an entire freakin' day because you're so busy making phone calls, your hair is still in a mess, your bridesmaids are late because of the traffic and you're about to scream at the make-up artist because she needed more time than you thought.
See, we've had countless conversations with couples who want to do everything on their own, or leave at least half of the work to their groomsmen and bridesmaids.
(Not our couples, no, not you guys, you guys are awesome we love you~)
Your groomsmen and bridesmaids' roles on that day should only simply be "being there for moral support"
...okay and maybe some small tasks too.
So that being said, we all expect that we can plan and probably execute our own wedding. But the reality is the work is simply overwhelming for many couples. And that's considering that your partner is actively and effectively helping out.
Hell, even we don't think we can run and attend our own wedding properly at the same time.
We'll probably just end up telling our guests to sit down, eat and drink and we'd proceed to stuff our own faces in silence.
or you know, just do what we do.
3) Décor and Venue
At this point I am obligated to point out that although we at The Wedding People have pulled off some pretty decent and different-from-the-norm wedding styling, they were not without challenges.
Take this for example: we've had the blissful opportunity to plan and style for this couple's wedding, and the designing department at The Wedding People dropped this drawing right on our laps so we could proceed to get the items and props needed.
In case you're wondering, the wedding was themed "Kampong"
Doesn't sound so hard innit'.
At times like these it'll surprise you how incredibly difficult it is to find something you've always thought were everywhere. And when you do eventually find it, it doesn't come in the colours you want, or it'll cost way more than you imagined.
Which kinda defers us back to the budgeting point. Transforming an entire venue into your dream wedding is truly a once-of-a-kind experience. But many people are actually surprised by how much florals can cost. I mean, it's just plants and leaves right?
The answer to that is... A LOT.
Its gorgeous, rare and definitely something you will remember for life... but it'll cost you more than you expect. And that's not all. You might not even get the exact same species of flowers you want, because well, flowers have one thing in common with Macdonald's Seaweed Shaker Fries and Starbucks' Salted Caramel Macchiato.
4) The Actual Wedding Itself
It's your wedding day. The day is going great, you're about to marry the love of your life.
Everything is in place for the banquet; tables are set, the microphones are checked, flowers are gorgeously placed and the food is piping hot.
The groom nervously stands at the altar, his buddies for life making fun of him in feeble attempt to calm his nerves and the music begins playing, everyone falls silent and the doors open.
The bride ever looking as gorgeous as she can possibly be stands at the entrance, a wave of goosebumps descends upon the crowd as she floats her way to the altar.
They say their vows, exchange rings, kiss and proceed to live happily ever after.
The groom nervously stands at the altar, having incessantly rehearsed with the planners or coordinators in the venue, everything from the duration of the music, tempo and crescendos, to the positions of where the groom and groomsmen are poised a few days before.
Wedding planners and coordinators scurrying about in the background, out of sight from most guests, coordinating between venue providers, sound systems, right down to the exact sequence of which doors should open first to reveal the bride.
The bride ever looking as gorgeous as she can possibly be, stands at the entrance, cued by the planner to begin her first step as she begins to float her way down to the altar.
Planners and coordinators crawl behind the scenes to prepare packs of tissue paper as the groom and bride begins to tear while saying their vows.
They exchange their rings in slow motion as advised by the photographers, taking great care not to screw up that one moment, they kiss and proceed to sign papers to officiate their union.
The solemniser says a bunch of words you will probably forget a couple minutes later, and proceeds to finally end your anxiety-filled torment.
... yeah... no... torment in a good way.
Although, there's that marriage certificate, a piece of paper with both your signatures that tells you that you now have to live with this decision for the rest of your life. A lifetime of smelling each other's farts.
And if you've already made the decision to not have kids, now would be a good time to tell the parents. You're married now, so... they'll just have to accept it.
Easier to ask for forgiveness than permission.
5) The Miscellaneous
There's usually the part in your planning journey that you consider the litty bitty little small details. Little things such as how entertained your guests are exactly 5 minutes 32 seconds into the dinner/lunch, or if this photographer can just "close one eye" and stay on for that extra 30 minutes even though his time is up, or you might be worried if several of your guests are vegans, some of them don't take carbs, and some of them detest seafood so on and so forth.
Now, I say these because it isn't wrong for you to be considering all of these. After all, you want your guests to have a good time and all.
Everybody has their preferences/limitations on food and you understand that well. Especially in our local Singaporean context, many of us are limited to specific dietary requirements due to our religious commitments.
Vendors such as photographers, videographers... they're awesome people. They have an uncanny ability to see things a different way that allows them to make your ugly ass mug look like Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively had a child (oh wait... they did).
And because they're awesome people, they want the best for your wedding. (It's true)
Our beautiful country has an immense abundance of catering companies that cater to our awesome Buddhist, Muslim and Hindu friends, as well as specific dietary requirements that might otherwise kill your guests with severe anaphylactic shock.
Food Caterers can't be expected to cater to all specific forms of food preferences your guests might have. While they certainly do try their best, why make someone's life difficult, when your guests can just have something else?
Which brings me to the photographers and videographers. It's absolutely common for event programmes to overrun beyond the projected schedule. Photographer and videographers dedicate an insane amount of time to perfect their craft, a whole lotta money into their equipment. Their time is extremely valuable to them because of their dedication and profession, along with their ability to make you look like Ryan Reynolds & Blake Lively.
Which is why as wedding planners, we'd always advise to cater extra time for the photographers and videographers in the event that your wedding programme extends beyond the stipulated time.
Don't scrimp on things like these. Crazy awesome moments can happen anytime and you'd want them to be able to capture it.